The Subconscious Pact with Apathy: Why We Drift Through Life and How to Break Free
It’s a long title, but it captures the essence of our current state. It’s the vibe in most workplaces, households, and social interactions today. And it’s the underlying cause of the mental health crisis we’re facing.
We often hear statements like:
“Employers should offer more mental health support.”
“The government and NHS should do more to address the mental health crisis.”
But the real question is: what are we doing about it?
Yes, there’s a rise of narcissism in the workplace, and many work environments have become toxic. But the root cause of mental health struggles, including those that show up at work, often stems from issues that follow us from home. From our childhoods, our toxic relationships, and from wounds we’ve failed to address.
Work provides an escape, at least temporarily. It’s our chance to leave behind the emotional baggage — or so we think. From 9 to 5 (and often much more), work becomes the modern version of the Venetian masquerade, a place where we hide behind a mask, pretending everything is fine. The mantra “fake it till you make it” becomes our survival mechanism.
But what happens when you’ve ‘made it’ in a life built on pretense? When the mask cracks, you face an existential crisis — the marriage falls apart, the cycle of dysfunction continues with your children, and you’re suddenly diagnosed with a label from the DSM V. That’s when the mask can no longer hide the truth.
Most of us don’t prioritize self-knowledge and growth until the consequences of avoiding it bring us to our knees. The mentality of “Why fix it if it ain’t completely broken?” pervades, even though deep down we know we need help. But real transformation requires serious inner work — facing hard truths, taking off the mask, and exposing ourselves as we truly are.
The reason we don’t take action? It’s not time or money that’s holding us back — it’s drifting and apathy.
“But I don’t have the time or money to deal with my issues,” many say.
Not true. I’ve met young clients whose parents were willing to fund therapy because of the damage their unresolved issues were causing. I’ve spoken to people failed by the NHS, in crisis, who turned down free support simply because they lacked the will to face their demons.
In these cases, the real barrier wasn’t a lack of resources, but a lack of willingness to confront the painful truth. Drifting and apathy allow us to avoid dealing with our internal chaos.
It’s easier to go with the flow, to blame circumstances, than to take responsibility and steer the ship.
One client wrote on their intake form:
“Apathy, low self-worth, pessimism, very low mood, anxiety… Life feels aimless and pointless. I don’t want to continue living.”
This person had the option of a full development program — therapy, coaching, family work — all paid for by their father. But when they heard the work it would require, they pulled back. “I don’t have time for that, I’ve just started a job,” they said.
Here’s the big question: Is that person going to perform well at work, with these issues lurking beneath the surface?
The truth is, they didn’t refuse because the program lacked value — they refused because they weren’t ready to invest in themselves. Not with money, but with effort, vulnerability, and the willingness to look inward.
When we remove the excuses of time and money, the only reasons left are spirituality and personal effort.
What do I mean by spirituality? I’m not referring to religion, or some mystical belief system. I’m talking about the science of existence — understanding who we truly are, how our thoughts and emotions shape us, and why we behave the way we do. This is a critical aspect of self-awareness that most people avoid.
Many hide behind the excuse of “show me the data” or “I’m too intellectual for this” because the alternative — looking inward, confronting our demons — is too painful. It would require breaking down the masks and identities we’ve built. That’s why people avoid it until they’re truly broken.
Even when people are desperate for change, they often seek a quick fix — a magic pill, a new age healer, or the latest “Law of Attraction” trend — instead of doing the deep, difficult work required for real transformation. But this is a business model that thrives on keeping people in the cycle of apathy and drifting.
That’s why I advocate for self-development and self-education as priorities. We need to understand the science of the Self, the human mind, and the reality of our existence in a deeper way.
Employers can’t be expected to fix your unresolved childhood trauma. And employees shouldn’t be expected to carry the weight of their employer’s emotional baggage, either. No one should bear the burden of someone else’s unresolved issues.
But here we are, navigating a world that perpetuates this cycle of neglect, distraction, and self-ignorance.
We have the power to break free — but only if we’re willing to face ourselves.
Gratiela Rosu Founder & Senior Mental Health Specialist | Preventive Care Educator Creator of the CWS Method® | Empowering Change for a Healthier Society
Contact Information: Email: cws@infogratielarosu.com Phone: +44 7599 475 268 Website: gratielarosu.com Social Media: LinkedIn, Facebook, TikTok
